Instituting Date Night

Don't miss part one of this post about Loving Your Spouse. There's another GIVEAWAY there, too.

DATE NIGHT by Chrissy Calderwood



In the Calderwood home,
Once weekly,
We leave the kids at home
And go to one of our favorite spots
For conversation not interrupted
By demands administered to sit still
And eat food.

We have a committed sitter
To care for the kids.
We take turns picking the activity for our night out
And sometimes we invite other couples.
But always, no matter what,
We celebrate the blessings of our life.

We still laugh at the past
And discuss the day's work
And strategize our plans for the future.

Date night is simply amazing.
Our time to catch up,
Renew our minds and enjoyment for one another
And laugh at how the house may be in shambles and kids’ dinner only half eaten when we return.


{me and my man}

In honor of date night, I want to challenge YOU, whether you have small children or are past that stage in life and whether or not it entails lining up a sitter...to plan a date night. Every Week. It’s a breath of fresh air our marriage needs to continue flourishing. I love my man. I cherish our time together. Every Thursday is our night.

GIVEAWAY! Respond to this post with a date you recently went on, or a planned date for sometime in the next week. There will be a random drawing for a $50 Visa gift card towards your next date night.

For more date night ideas, here are some sites you may want to check out.

20 Pocket Change Date Night Ideas from "Small Notebook". Check the comments, too, for readers' ideas.

44 Date Night Ideas at "Time in New York".

For Phoenix locals...
Phoenix Date Ideas has a great list of fun, romantic, adventurous, cheap and weekend/day trip ideas.

Hit The Ground Running week #2: Loving Your Spouse

Happy Monday!

First, the winners from last week's giveaway are:
The "Know Your Bible" book: Amanda M.
The Starbucks Gift Card: Natalie

Congrats, girls!

I hope if you're reading this that you're already participating in my Summer Challenge, spending 15 minutes a day reading your Bible and praying. If not, you can still join in. Check out the Summer Challenge post HERE.

And now on to week #2 of my Hit The Ground Running Series!

LOVING YOUR SPOUSE {written by my friend Dennis Johnston}

One of the biggest joys of our lives is found in the relationship with our spouse. The ability to nurture this relationship will determine our ability to add value to other people.

If you asked me and my wife Nichole how our first year of marriage was, you would get two different answers. I was convinced it was nothing less than marital bliss. It was great! She seemed attentive to my needs and as a I result I felt affirmed. She was convinced it was anything but marital bliss. It was difficult! I seemed oblivious to her needs and as a result she felt frustrated.

This lead to heated discussions that included honest dialogue such as:

“When you _______ I feel ________.”

One area we have always revisited was our marriage vows. Our commitment seemed almost effortless at the time. Yet, we have had to be intentional daily in honoring our commitment to each other.

I have found I’m always drawn back to a specific passage in the Bible to help me. “For I have no one like him who will be genuinely concerned for your welfare. They all seek their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.” Philippians 2:20-21 ESV

The whole idea of being “genuinely concerned” for her welfare has been a huge blessing in our marriage. The other side of this is not seeking my “own interest” but seeking hers instead.

Here are a few ways we continue to be “genuinely concerned” for the welfare of each other:

• We pray together. Not the “help my wife desire to serve me breakfast in bed prayers.” After we have conversations about challenges (etc.), we simply ask each other “how can I pray for you?”

• We memorize Scripture together. Chuck Swindoll wrote, “I know of no other single practice in the Christian life more rewarding, practically speaking, than memorizing Scripture….No other single exercise pays greater spiritual dividends! Your prayer life will be strengthened….Your attitudes and outlook will begin to change. Your mind will become alert and observant” (Growing Strong in the Seasons of Life [Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1994], p. 61).

• We affirm each other publicly. Nichole has the ability to make me look better than I really am – she always speaks highly of me in front of others when I’m not present. Similarly, I get a tremendous amount of joy by doing the same.

• We encourage each other daily. We encourage through words, hugs, cards, notes, email, texts, and even non-verbally when we simply hold hands without expressing words.
Here are a few examples of some text messages within the past week:
o How’s your day? I prayed you get refocused this afternoon. You do a terrific job! Thank you for who you are!
o Thank you for being excited for our date tonight! I enjoyed spending time with you and learning how you are helping other people. There are few people like you – I Love You!
o You seem VERY tired. Please rest! I love you and look forward to walking with you tonight!
o Hi dear – you looked amazing this morning. Very beautiful!

We still include honest dialogue such as:

“When you _______ I feel _______.”

When Nichole affirms me I feel incredibly important to her. She has truly been one of the biggest sources of joy in my life.

I encourage you to share a few ways you continue to be “genuinely concerned” for the welfare of each other. Excited to hear from you!

{Thanks, Dennis!}

And now...THIS WEEK'S GIVEAWAY!

I'm giving away one of my FAVORITE books, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger.

TO ENTER: leave a comment with how you continue to be “genuinely concerned” for the welfare of your spouse. If you comment anonymously, remember to leave your name.

I hope your week is off to a GREAT start!

DON'T MISS my post about Instituting Date Night. There's a new GIVEAWAY, too!

Tender Moments

A Tender Moment is…

a moment that stops you in your tracks,
a moment that can bring you to your knees,
make you cry,
inflict pain,
bring joy
and ultimately grow you.
-Chrissy Calderwood

My Tender Moment started last night. Rex and I went on a dinner date to one of our favorite restaurants, Outback, with one of our favorite couples, who happen to be hard-core athletes. It was delightful. We laughed through dinner and stopped at Starbucks on the trip home. Throughout the evening I was inspired a bit to step up my running regimen. I’ve fallen slightly off schedule as the temperatures have risen in Phoenix. Typically, the higher the temperatures rise, the less miles I log but this time I decided...I’m going to run through the heat.

And that was the beginning of my Tender Moment.

Today’s high is 115! I did not know this when I made the mental commitment to run today.

            Phoenix 5-Day Forecast:  
      
            Today     Thurs.     Fri.       Sat.      Sun.
High    115         113        110      110      111   
Low     79           80          78        77        80

I discussed my plan with Rex and he encouraged me to go out for the run. I put on my cute little LuLu Lemon clothes, grabbed a water bottle and hit the pavement. “Not so bad,” I thought. “And I really like this song playing.” Plus my watch displayed a not-so-common quick pace. As I made it through the first mile, I began to thirst….for a cold shower and my a/c. It was a quick mile, but my cool arms and legs from being in the house had warmed up to fire engine red and were drenched with sweat. And so I stopped in my tracks to take a drink of water.

No, I did not fall to my knees, but it crossed my mind. That could be a great tactic to gain a ride home from a passing neighbor.

No, I wasn’t crying, it just looked like I was with the sweat beading up on my cheeks.

Yes, I was in pain. This was not one of my more comfortable runs.

The amount of joy I felt when I turned the last corner to my house was immeasurable as I inched back toward the a/c I love so much.

Yes, this run definitely grew me. Sometimes when you want something enough, you’re going to have Tender Moments while getting where you’re going. Life’s not easy, and neither was my run. But I’m better for it. I made it through it, and I’m a little bit stronger for it (and no, I am not endorsing running in ridiculous “heat advisory” temperatures).

Whatever your Tender Moment is, I urge you to embrace it. Go where it takes you. Grow from it. You’ll be a stronger person for gutting it out!

Hit the Ground Running week #1: Loving God

First, let's announce the WINNERS of last week's giveaway:

THE BOOK: EJ
THE SHIRT: Lynn

Congratulations, ladies!

I hope if you're reading this that you're already participating in my Summer Challenge, spending 15 minutes a day reading your Bible and praying. If not, you can still join in. Check out the Summer Challenge post HERE.

And now...WELCOME to my 4-week "Hit the Ground Running" Monday series.

I hope these Monday morning posts will help you get your week off on the right foot. For four weeks, we'll focus on these key areas:
1. our relationship with God
2. our relationship with our spouse
3. loving our kids
4. taking care of our bodies

WEEK ONE: Our Relationship with God

Most of us know {or have at least heard of} the three keys to a successful Christian life: 1) Love God 2) Love others and 3) Go and make disciples. Easy, right? I have found that in the “New Normal” world we live in, the demands on our time push us further from, not closer to, the One who loves us most. In an effort to move in the right direction, I’m actually going to let a guest "post" on my blog. It’s relevant to my life and I trust that this post by my friend Dennis Johnston will be encouraging for you.

Matthew 6:31-34 English Standard Version "Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

So many times we get caught up in worry. It seems that the daily needs of life, work, family and health all combine to make us anxious about tomorrow. Throw in a little crisis – finances, job problems, car repairs, and illness – and the stress level rises until we can’t sleep, we can’t think straight and ultimately, we aren’t able to function. That’s what happens when we are overwhelmed with our own needs.

Amazingly, Jesus speaks to this very issue in this passage from the Gospel of Matthew. What He tells us is that God knows what we need, even before we ask, and this loving Heavenly Father of ours will make sure we have what we need. So, what’s our problem then? If God is caring for us in the practical needs of our lives, why are we so consumed with the issues of daily life?

Good question – and the answer is somewhat simple: our priorities are all out of whack. We seek to have 'stuff' so that our basic needs will be met, when our real focus should be to seek the Provider. When we focus on acquiring material things and stress over our daily needs, we are trying to be our own provider – we aren’t truly trusting God. We are relying on ourselves and what we can do – through our own efforts, schemes and plans, we aren’t relying on God. Yes, we have to work and use what finances and opportunities God gives us wisely, but seeking God who is our Provider keeps things in the right perspective, acknowledging Him as the source of all that we need (Deuteronomy 8:17-18 ESV).

Placing Him first in all things demonstrates our love for Him and allows us to receive all that our loving Father desires to provide for us. In seeking first Him and His Kingdom, we build our lives on trusting Him – which can reduce the anxiety and stress of our everyday life.

YOUR CHALLENGE THIS WEEK:

Ask yourself this question – "What do I rely on in my life more than God?"

Pray this prayer – My Father in heaven, I know You are the One who provides all that I need in life. Help me to trust You to care for me and my family – give me the peaces and assurance of Your Holy Spirit. Show me how to place You and Your kingdom first in my life, aligning my priorities with Your heart. May it be so, I ask in the name of Jesus Christ.

(This is a guest post by Dennis Johnston. He has a heart to identify, equip, and release healthy leaders).

This week's #1 GIVEAWAY is a $25 Starbucks gift card that I hope you'll use to get away from the rush of life, enjoy a beverage and reflect on how you can make (or keep) God first in your life. Maybe you can even take a friend along, too.

The #2 GIVEAWAY is the book Know Your Bible by Paul Kent, guaranteed to help you ready, study and understand the Bible.

To ENTER, simply
* continue (or start) your 15-minute quiet time with the Lord every day.

* COMMENT on this post answering the question, "What types of things worry you the most in your life right now?" I hope to address some of them in future posts. You can sign in or comment anonymously--just leave your name, please.

The winners will be chosen by the random number generator (one entry per person) at 11pm Arizona time on Sunday, June 26th. Take care to leave an e-mail address so we can contact you if you win!

Feel free to e-mail me with questions at rccalderwood@aol.com

Are we winning yet?

I guess that depends on what we call winning….but, yes. Yes, indeed we are!

Logan finished his first season of go-kart racing last Saturday night with great improvement from the beginning to end of season. He even racked up eight trophies throughout the season!

We had hours and hours of family time at the track and we got to spend some time with friends we hadn’t seen in awhile.

{us with Dawn & David, my in-laws}

So if winning means your son growing in skill, attitude, strength and stamina....

and your daughter insisting on wearing a bikini all day at the track...

... then we hit all the marks.

Here’s to Logan’s first season of Kart racing!!

Summer Challenge & Giveaway

In years past, summer came and went and left me thinking, "Gee, I wish I'd have done something meaningful this summer." Seems like having the kids home, the slower pace and more daylight hours should be the perfect opportunity to make some positive changes in our lives, right?

It's hard work, though, mostly because it requires us to change our way of thinking. This week, I realized why that is when I had an "a-ha moment" that all started with a T-shirt.

A while back, someone gave me a Wild Olive Tee with Romans 12:2 on the back.






{want to know how you can WIN a shirt like this?? Keep reading!}

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- His good, pleasing and perfect will.” (New International Version)

The shirt fits me well and has a nice, feel-good ‘slogan verse’ on the back, so...I wear it.

Recently, my journey through the Bible in a year brought me to the book of Romans. I’ve read this verse plenty of times but this time it had a profound effect on my spiritual life.

Christians are uniquely called to live a life of service, dedicated to looking out for the needs of the people around them and loving others above themselves—and that’s definitely not how the world does things! I felt adequate in my endeavors of living a life of loving the Lord and others. I had the “do not conform to the patterns on this world” part of the verse down. Yea, me!

But I had to really park there for a while before it hit home that this verse calls us to more than just not conforming to the world-- we are also called to renew our minds so that we can be truly transformed.



That’s when the light bulb went on. True transformation only happens when we renew our minds consistently. That means that we need to spend quality time with the Lord, every day. Our minds need daily exercise, just like our muscles.

I've given up on the idea of life ever slowing down. I have to work at keeping my priorities in order. Just like running, I have to make a daily decision to spend time with the Lord or it doesn’t happen. I can’t wait until it’s convenient because, when it is ever convenient?? If I waited until it was convenient or until I felt like it, it would rarely happen. I have to be ruthlessly intentional with both. And believe me—in my life, I need to do it every day. I have to do it first thing in the morning, too, before my day gets totally out of hand.



I love my shirt and the verse on the back does make for a nice slogan. But I don’t want to be just a ‘slogan Christian.’

I could read the backs of clever T-shirts all day long, but it won’t have an impact on my life until I actually open my Bible and spend time studying the verse, figuring out what it means and applying it to my life.

The method behind my madness, by the way, is incredibly simple and if you don’t have your own method already, I hope you’ll consider adopting this one. It’s SOAP: Scripture, Observation, Application and Prayer.



All you need is a Bible, something to write on (be it a journal or a Word document) and your brain.

Here is SOAP, explained on my church's web site and a more in-depth explanation at GregQualls.com.

And you can do it in 15 minutes a day! I like to break my time into 5-minute chunks: 5 minutes to read, 5 minutes to journal about what I read and how I can apply it to my life and 5 minutes to pray. Simple.

My daily time with God makes all the difference in my life and I know it can do the same for you.

In fact, I thought it would be fun to challenge ourselves to doing a quiet time for 15 minutes a day for the next four weeks and see what we get.

I’m so excited for my blog readers to start this that I’m offering TWO GIVEAWAYS just for agreeing to participate in this 4-week challenge!

The #1 giveaway this week is for Andy Stanley’s book, “How Good Is Good Enough?”, which I will mail to your door right away. I'll even include a cute bookmark!



The #2 giveaway this week is for a gift certificate to Wild Olive Tee so you can choose the shirt you want {like the one pictured at the beginning of this post}. Their shirts are beautiful and perfect for summer!

PARTICIPATING is simple:

* COMMIT to a 15-minute quiet time with the Lord every day (ish) for the next four weeks.

* COMMENT on this post answering the question, "What is your biggest hindrance to having a daily quiet time with the Lord?" By the way, I hope to address some of them in future posts. You can sign in or comment anonymously--just leave your name, please.

You are also encouraged to SIGN UP to follow my blog so you don't miss any posts. You can follow by e-mail or subscribe. Look in the right-hand sidebar.

Think your Facebook friends would like to participate, too?? Look for the Facebook icon at the bottom of this post, under my name, to post to your Facebook page.

The winners will be chosen by the random number generator (one entry per person) at 11pm Arizona time on Sunday, June 19th. Take care to leave an e-mail address so we can contact you if you win!

STAY TUNED for my "Hit the Ground Running" series, starting next Monday, June 20th.

Feel free to e-mail me with questions at rccalderwood@aol.com

It's going to be a great summer!

Rock 'N Roll Race Weekend

“Coming together is a beginning.
Keeping together is progress.
Working together is success.” -Henry Ford

In February of this year, my youngest sister, Katie, travelled to Phoenix and we ran the local IMS half marathon together. It was her first half and I was thrilled to be by her side as we first discussed the potential of doing the run, then committed to the run then trained for it and completed it together. We finished the half with cheers and bright smiles (through the rain, mind you) and it became a platform for things to come.

Within weeks, a new dream boldly arose from our successful half marathon…..what if we did the San Diego half marathon with our middle sister, Beth?? The run was on Beth’s 30th birthday! We took it as a sign and pitched the idea to Beth. She was ‘in’ so we signed up for the Rock ‘n Roll San Diego half marathon.

Signing up was easy. That part’s always easy, right?? All they need are sixteen digits and the expiration date off your stinking credit card and you’re on your way to a few months of training and stress the week before the race.

Then you wonder, “Am I ready?”
“Can I do this?”
“Am I Crazy?”

And then, the quiet voice of reason kicks in.
“No, you are not ready. You missed half your training runs!”
“Yes, you can do this, it’s just going to hurt!”
And the “Am I crazy?” question? That’s still up in the air.

The greatest part of mentoring my sisters through their first half marathons this year is that I could empathize with them in very real ways. In January 2008, I ran my first half and it was not only physically tough, but mentally challenging as well. I was able to check in on their progress as we all prepared for the half and direct them to resources as needed. Although we trained 500 miles apart, we kept together with our regimens. This was our “team” progressing and preparing for race day.

And then June 5 arrived! At 6:15 am the race started and the real work began. It was real. It was tough. It was real tough. Beth had the flu the week before and had not fully recovered. I had a running mentor once tell me that that’s how it goes. The week before a race, you inevitably pull a muscle, tweak a shin or come down with a major illness.

She said that running is about figuring out how to work through whatever has plagued you.

So, we worked through the race. Slowly, but with grace. We ran the first mile and as Beth felt the unrelenting urge to vomit, the decision was made to alter the game plan and walk the race. A finish is a finish. A medal is a medal. It took a little longer than anticipated, but we did it. We worked together and enjoyed one another’s company for 13.1 miles—and we made it!

{left to right: Katie, Me, Beth & Rebecca}

No matter how many races I run in my life, the two races I ran with my sisters will be ones of great importance. They were races that weren’t just about me.

There was a greater purpose to lead, train and encourage others to attain their goals.

I was blessed to have grown enough in my running that I could take someone under my wing and invite them along for the run.

So I ask you…..how could you encourage someone today? Who could you inspire to set a goal and help them reach it? Whether it’s educationally or physically, whether it’s learning to keep a house or cook a healthy meal, whatever it may be, who could you help grow and in what way?

I promise you this: if you will take careful watch and be prepared to love others more than yourself, the opportunity to serve others, become a “team” with someone and work together towards success will present itself.

And on a rather amusing note…..I should mention that I signed Rex up for the half and though he hadn’t committed to run the race, he hadn’t said ‘no,’ either. We went on one training run together over the past few months. I had lined up a sitter and as we went out the door, I asked, “Honey, you going to change out of your flip-flops?”
“Nah, I’m just gonna go for a walk and have a beer. You go run.”
So, off I went and slowly, he followed behind me in his flip-flops.
On the day of the race, I was unsure if he would tackle it. The day before, we had lounged at the beach and eaten lunch and dinner out. After that, Rex ate and drank whatever he felt like—we were on vacation, after all. THEN, he stayed up watching a movie!!!!!
“He’s gonna die tomorrow,” I thought, as I insisted on the TV being turned off at midnight.
4:45 am arrived like a jolt of lightning. Rex jumped up, got ready and we all left. As we arrived at the race, Rex shared that he was feeling pretty good and he was going to run it after all.
“REALLY?” I thought. “I commit and train for months on end. He decides at the start line that he’s feeling good and he’s going to run??” I loved it! So, he ran it. And he kicked my butt. He is my hero. No training, no sleep, lots of food and some drinks the day before and he finished. And good for him. I’m glad he’s my man—the courageous and gutsy leader of our family!