Flexibility

“I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,

the first of which is to be flexible at all times.” – Everett Dirksen

I distinctly remember sitting in our newly built home as a newlywed, with dinner on the stove growing colder by the second, and Rex still wasn’t on his way home from work. I remember the irritation, the hurt and the frustration I felt. I was flexible enough to try to keep his food warm for a while but when it reached the point that I was risking burning it, my flexibility maxed out. I also remember voicing my frustrations to a mentor in my life. Thankfully, I was blessed with a wise mentor. She spoke firmly, “Chrissy, you have to be flexible in your expectations of Rex and your marriage. He’s out earning a living for you. You just need to be there when he’s available. You can be happy for the time you do have together, or you can make it terrible when he’s home and not enjoy one another. It’s your choice.” Following her advice, I learned to become flexible.

Rex and I formulated a new game plan for dinner: Rex calls when he’s on his way home, whether it’s 5:00, 6:00 or 8:00, and I finish dinner off so it’s ready when he walks in the door. We are now five months shy of our 10 year anniversary and I can tell you, dinnertime is not a source of stress in our marriage. I’ve learned to go with the flow. We’ve found methods that work for us to have peaceful dinners, whether it’s early or late. The key was being flexible.

I’m not suggesting that flexibility is easy. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Flexibility forces you to let go of expectations, of pride and of plans that were made. “Being flexible and versatile is an advantage if you have the desire to succeed at anything you do. You will experience day to day difficulties, delays and frustrations in your demanding work and life and when dealing with people. There are times when you have to deal with situations that do not fit in or interrupt your schedule.” from About Personal Growth.com

Day-to-day annoyances and set-backs are inevitable but we choose whether to roll with them or fight them.

Here are some ways that I was flexible recently:

I planned to run in a threesome on Sunday. Something came up with my other two partners. No big deal, I’ll hit the road by myself. And I’ll get to wear earphones in both ears instead of one on this run!

I was sending urgent emails yesterday and, for no apparent reason, they stopped sending! I later discovered that an over-height semi truck had taken out the power lines several miles away, and all communication was down in the area. This one was totally out of my control! Rather than have a fit about it, I saved the e-mails to a file, brought them home and sent them from a different computer.

I assisted in hanging murals at our church in the nursery that were 10’ x 30’ in size. It was a lot of work but they turned out beautifully and we were done by the end of the day. The next morning, I received a call. The murals had fallen off the wall! “Seriously?” I thought. “Like, a few inches??” I asked, hopeful. “Let me send you a picture,” my contact said. OH MY! They had almost completely fallen. I called the artist that I assisted. He had never seen anything like this and he has been doing it for over 20 years. Plans change: the murals had to be re-hung that day—we just used a different adhesive the second time. I was thankful for the patience of the church, and that I had help. Although I did not plan on this glitch, it was manageable. I was just grateful that something could be done to rectify the situation.

I ordered photo thank-you cards from Walgreens for my kids’ birthday party. I received a confirmation that said they would be ready in one hour. Four hours later, I went to pick them up and the order hadn’t been sent to the store. “There must have been a glitch somewhere,” the manager explained. So, I returned home, e-mailed support services and they re-sent the order. The next day I went in to the store once again to pick up the order and they still did not have it! Ugh! As frustrated as I was, it wasn’t the end of the world. Yes, it would be a few more days before our guests received their thank-you cards. In the grand scheme of life, however, it was no big deal. I was the only one who would even know the difference. I decided to be flexible and not become stressed out over the hold up.

Two weeks ago I had an MRI. The technician shared with me that she ordered the results to be “stat.” I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. I waited by the phone. And I called them, twice. No results. Unfortunately, I was supposed to go to San Francisco the day after the MRI for the Nike Women’s Marathon. When I didn’t hear from the neurosurgeon’s office, I decided to cancel our trip. I reasoned that I could always run the next year. I had to become more flexible in my desires. In the end, it all worked out. My running partner’s husband ran with my bib, and gave ME the Tiffany & Co. finisher’s necklace!

The point to all these stories is that, whether our speed bump is large or small, we need to be flexible enough to roll with it and not allow a speed bump to become a parking spot. For me personally, flexibility is part of my faith.

In Proverbs 3, the Bible says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.”

That’s my key. Him. When He is directing my path, it’s easier to pray instead of stress.

Wondering what happened when my doctor’s office did finally call back? They said they could detect a change, but not one significant enough to bring me in before my scheduled appointment two weeks later. And so I’ve been waiting for going on two weeks now, and struggling with not knowing. That’s a hard place to be for a strong Type-A personality like myself. I’ve had to give it to God. I’ve had to let the worry part of me go, and be flexible enough emotionally to put my faith in God, and not in myself. After all, He’s got the whole world in His hands.

I’m praying that God would bring good results from my MRI when I meet with my doctor tomorrow. And I hope you’re still praying that for me as well.

GIVEAWAY! What is one way you have been/ can be flexible this week? Comment on this post and you’ll be entered for a $25.00 gift card to Starbucks!

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