Hit the Ground Running Week #3: Loving Your Kids

I hope you had a wonderful Fourth of July weekend!

Welcome to part 3 of my "Hit the Ground Running" series.



The winners from last week's giveaway are:
The Dr. Laura book: Sheryl
The Visa gift card: Rebekah W. (Hope you enjoy that date night with Ryan!)

This week's post on Loving Your Kids was written by my own mother, Kathy Redfeairn.

Loving our kids and raising them well is easy and natural, right? Not in a million years! We must make the decision to love our kids.

I loved raising our family but it took sacrificial, intentional, hard work. Undeniably, they were and are a blessing. Newborns are a peek into the awesomeness of God, the Creator! But along with each newborn came household adjustments to include the challenges of a new, unique personality, a schedule to accommodate and specific individual needs to be met. I remember that while being wheeled to the operating room for my 4th c-section, I thought, “I must be crazy! What in the world have I done? Four c-sections?? What was I thinking, having 4 kids?!” Thankfully, that moment of dread passed as we welcomed our 4th child (and 3rd girl) into our family.

I had to pray daily that God would help me love my children. It is not always natural to love our kids. We often think of what is easiest for us rather than what is best for them. Is letting them play the DS for 3 hours instead of playing a game with them really the better choice, or is it the easiest? Daily I would ask God to help me love my kids. I couldn’t do it on my own. I needed His help and His perspective to do what was best. I prayed daily, too, that my children would love each other. They were always close, but calling it ‘love’ might have been a stretch at times! But as adults, WOW, they genuinely love each other!

Now my kids are ages 34, 32, 30 and 27 and I have seven grandchildren (pictured below).



Based on all those years of mothering experience and 26 years of serving in children’s ministry, here are some of my thoughts on how to love your kids well.

Embrace the youthfulness of your children. Try not to have any preconceived ideas about their individual development. This is not to say that you should overlook the markers of whether or not a child is healthy. But don’t worry that they are not at the same maturity level as other children. Don’t worry that they can’t tie their shoes and your friend’s son can or that they still can’t figure out how to use scissors or wash their own hair. Accept that they are a work in progress, emotionally, spiritually and physically. They need your tender direction and guidance. Be patient with them as they grasp the world around them and all the truths and expectations that you have for them.

Relax and enjoy your kids. They are little for such a short time and each child is entirely different from their siblings. I still can laugh about the funny remarks the kids made or how they innocently made profound comments. We were sitting around the dinner table one evening when two-and-a-half-year-old Chrissy looked out our big windows and said, “Look at that boy dog.” I was shocked. I thought, “Holy Cow! How does she know the difference between a boy and a girl dog??” because it was, indeed, a big boy dog and we hadn’t yet taught her how to tell the difference. Hesitantly, I asked, “How do you know it is a boy?” Childlike and innocently she stated, “Because he’s black!” In her world, all dogs who were black were boys! Her dad and I laughed, relieved that sex ed was not yet a topic of discussion.

Lead by example. God calls us to disciple our children. God has loaned them to us with the expectation that we will raise them to love and serve Him by our own example. This requires a steadfast dedication on our part and remembering that they’re watching us at all times. Kids imitate us! I remember hearing my child say something and wondering, “Where on earth did they hear that?” It only took a moment for God to gently remind me that it was ME who had said it. Yikes!

Teach your children to be kind as you model kindness. Never allow them to speak unkind words without lovingly correcting them. Help them to know and do what is right. Be uncompromising on issues of lying, cheating, stealing and speaking disrespectfully to adults. Teach them that it is never okay to do these things, even if others are. It will save them so much heartache later in life if they can learn to be self-disciplined in these areas when they are young.

If this seems like a tall order to fill, remember that we do not have to be perfect parents. Our kids know we are not perfect. God knows we are not perfect. Perfection is not the goal. The goal is to model a life surrendered to God in love and service for our children to see.

Expect the best from your kids. They have a tendency to live up to your expectations, so expect them to behave appropriately and always do their best.

Raise your children in a Godly church. The challenges of motherhood are overwhelming at times. Who could accomplish this task alone? Not me, not any of us! Thankfully we have God, the Holy Spirit and the Bible to provide direction along with our family and fellow believers. Find a Bible Study small group or fellowship group to offer guidance and support.

We began attending church with the birth of our first child. It was the best decision we have ever made. Godly women fielded my various questions and concerns. Many fond memories were made along the way as our children bonded and became life-long friends.

Carefully guide their spiritual lives as though their eternity depends on it….because it does! At some future time, your child will make an eternal decision and it can be one that has been cultivated by your direct influence. You will have helped lay the foundation for that important decision.

Being a mom is an awesome blessing. Being a grandma is, too! I love being a grandma and thoroughly enjoy our seven grandkids, each uniquely different from one another. I can never seem to get enough of them. I thank God for the gift of children and grandchildren and God willing, I can experience the gift of great-grandchildren someday, too!

THIS WEEK'S GIVEAWAY is for the book "The Five Love Languages For Kids."
TO ENTER, leave a comment answering the question: "What is your favorite way to spend quality time with your kids during the summer?" Don't forget, if you comment anonymously, leave your name and/or e-mail address so we can contact you if you win.