MRI update

{Congrats to Robin S., the winner of the Starbucks gift card from my previous post!}

“It’ll be ok. It’s probably not that big of a deal. It’s not even for sure. Every day people hear much worse news than this. Besides, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, Chrissy.” That’s what I keep telling myself as I replay the conversation with my neurosurgeon from a week ago.

And for the most part, the lines I feed myself calm me enough to overcome the emotions that are fighting to break loose and cause me to cry like a little girl.

“We’re not sure if this is new, or we just hadn’t seen it before,” he explained as he showed me the MRI of my optic nerve. It is distorted. Not perfect, like the opposing optic nerve. One of the many miracles from my surgery was that the optic nerve was not entwined with the tumor. Consequently, an MRI was never done of that specific region. That is, until a few weeks back, when I went into the tube for an hour and a half instead of the usual 45 minutes. For reasons unbeknownst to me, my neurosurgeon ordered an MRI of the brain and the optic nerve.

And viola, there was something new. Or, as he explained, maybe it wasn’t new and they just hadn’t know it was there.

"Perfect. Now we have two areas to track," I thought. No big deal. It’s nothing two Valium can’t handle for the extended stay in the claustrophobic noise machine.

All joking aside, the doctor seemed concerned. We bumped it up to two MRIs and a CAT scan six months out. We’re going to watch closely to be sure there is no change on the optic nerve, since part of it is gone, or distorted, or something…we just don’t have enough information to be sure at this point.

The largest concern with the optic nerve having something going on is that there cannot be any pressure put on this area by tumor (he didn’t explain why, he just kept saying it). And then he explained that if the tumor grew in the optic nerve, the surgery required would be really bad, the kind of surgery he doesn’t want to do on anyone.

And then he said the word…radiation. It’s not for sure, but he thinks with the new findings, we should begin thinking about radiation. Now that we have a baseline of the optic nerve, in six months tests will be repeated, and off I will go to see a specialist to discuss radiation. He explained that it’s probably a safer avenue to travel and that we need to be doing all we can to avoid surgery in this area. To avoid surgery, the tumor must not grow. In six months, another assessment will be made, but he advised me that at this point, the risks of radiation would be acceptable to avoid surgery.

And so for a week I have been mulling this over in my brain. Emotions are like a bouncy ball. I’m fine, I’m sad, I’m fine, I’m mad, I’m fine, I’m devastated…you get the picture. I know, it’s supposedly not that big of a deal—it’s not cancer. I will make it through it. And it’s not even for sure.

It’s like this. When I went in for surgery the first time, our pastor visited and shared a phrase I have not forgotten. He said, “Any surgery on yourself is major surgery.” Isn’t that the truth? I mean, tonsillectomy, wisdom teeth being removed, appendectomy, C-section…no matter how major or minor, when you’re the patient, they’re all major.

And so a little, a lot, whatever amount it may be…I only have one brain, and radiation is going to be major. I will make it. I will be fine. I was just hoping to be undergoing LESS tests at the two year mark, not more.

Will you please pray with me that there will be absolutely no change in the optic nerve, or the region where the major tumor was? I know my God is a God that answers prayers. I know He hears His people cry out for miracles.

Phil 4:4-7 “Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness to known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

Flexibility

“I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,

the first of which is to be flexible at all times.” – Everett Dirksen

I distinctly remember sitting in our newly built home as a newlywed, with dinner on the stove growing colder by the second, and Rex still wasn’t on his way home from work. I remember the irritation, the hurt and the frustration I felt. I was flexible enough to try to keep his food warm for a while but when it reached the point that I was risking burning it, my flexibility maxed out. I also remember voicing my frustrations to a mentor in my life. Thankfully, I was blessed with a wise mentor. She spoke firmly, “Chrissy, you have to be flexible in your expectations of Rex and your marriage. He’s out earning a living for you. You just need to be there when he’s available. You can be happy for the time you do have together, or you can make it terrible when he’s home and not enjoy one another. It’s your choice.” Following her advice, I learned to become flexible.

Rex and I formulated a new game plan for dinner: Rex calls when he’s on his way home, whether it’s 5:00, 6:00 or 8:00, and I finish dinner off so it’s ready when he walks in the door. We are now five months shy of our 10 year anniversary and I can tell you, dinnertime is not a source of stress in our marriage. I’ve learned to go with the flow. We’ve found methods that work for us to have peaceful dinners, whether it’s early or late. The key was being flexible.

I’m not suggesting that flexibility is easy. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Flexibility forces you to let go of expectations, of pride and of plans that were made. “Being flexible and versatile is an advantage if you have the desire to succeed at anything you do. You will experience day to day difficulties, delays and frustrations in your demanding work and life and when dealing with people. There are times when you have to deal with situations that do not fit in or interrupt your schedule.” from About Personal Growth.com

Day-to-day annoyances and set-backs are inevitable but we choose whether to roll with them or fight them.

Here are some ways that I was flexible recently:

I planned to run in a threesome on Sunday. Something came up with my other two partners. No big deal, I’ll hit the road by myself. And I’ll get to wear earphones in both ears instead of one on this run!

I was sending urgent emails yesterday and, for no apparent reason, they stopped sending! I later discovered that an over-height semi truck had taken out the power lines several miles away, and all communication was down in the area. This one was totally out of my control! Rather than have a fit about it, I saved the e-mails to a file, brought them home and sent them from a different computer.

I assisted in hanging murals at our church in the nursery that were 10’ x 30’ in size. It was a lot of work but they turned out beautifully and we were done by the end of the day. The next morning, I received a call. The murals had fallen off the wall! “Seriously?” I thought. “Like, a few inches??” I asked, hopeful. “Let me send you a picture,” my contact said. OH MY! They had almost completely fallen. I called the artist that I assisted. He had never seen anything like this and he has been doing it for over 20 years. Plans change: the murals had to be re-hung that day—we just used a different adhesive the second time. I was thankful for the patience of the church, and that I had help. Although I did not plan on this glitch, it was manageable. I was just grateful that something could be done to rectify the situation.

I ordered photo thank-you cards from Walgreens for my kids’ birthday party. I received a confirmation that said they would be ready in one hour. Four hours later, I went to pick them up and the order hadn’t been sent to the store. “There must have been a glitch somewhere,” the manager explained. So, I returned home, e-mailed support services and they re-sent the order. The next day I went in to the store once again to pick up the order and they still did not have it! Ugh! As frustrated as I was, it wasn’t the end of the world. Yes, it would be a few more days before our guests received their thank-you cards. In the grand scheme of life, however, it was no big deal. I was the only one who would even know the difference. I decided to be flexible and not become stressed out over the hold up.

Two weeks ago I had an MRI. The technician shared with me that she ordered the results to be “stat.” I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. I waited by the phone. And I called them, twice. No results. Unfortunately, I was supposed to go to San Francisco the day after the MRI for the Nike Women’s Marathon. When I didn’t hear from the neurosurgeon’s office, I decided to cancel our trip. I reasoned that I could always run the next year. I had to become more flexible in my desires. In the end, it all worked out. My running partner’s husband ran with my bib, and gave ME the Tiffany & Co. finisher’s necklace!

The point to all these stories is that, whether our speed bump is large or small, we need to be flexible enough to roll with it and not allow a speed bump to become a parking spot. For me personally, flexibility is part of my faith.

In Proverbs 3, the Bible says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.”

That’s my key. Him. When He is directing my path, it’s easier to pray instead of stress.

Wondering what happened when my doctor’s office did finally call back? They said they could detect a change, but not one significant enough to bring me in before my scheduled appointment two weeks later. And so I’ve been waiting for going on two weeks now, and struggling with not knowing. That’s a hard place to be for a strong Type-A personality like myself. I’ve had to give it to God. I’ve had to let the worry part of me go, and be flexible enough emotionally to put my faith in God, and not in myself. After all, He’s got the whole world in His hands.

I’m praying that God would bring good results from my MRI when I meet with my doctor tomorrow. And I hope you’re still praying that for me as well.

GIVEAWAY! What is one way you have been/ can be flexible this week? Comment on this post and you’ll be entered for a $25.00 gift card to Starbucks!

If you comment anonymously, just remember to leave your name and a way to contact you!

Choosing to ask for prayer

Immediately I became flushed with emotions that aren't really "normal" for me anymore. Fear. Anxiety. Worry. Fear. And more fear.

It happened last week on my way home from picking Logan up from school when I felt my leg and it was completely numb. The entire mid-thigh region was NUMB! I panicked. "Dang! I have to get home. I have to lay down. Is this a migraine? A stroke? Is this something else, something NEW!?"

In my years of suffering from migraines, I have yet to have one begin with numbness in my leg. Numbness IS a part of the cycle, but never at the beginning, and never hitting in the mid-thigh part of my leg first.

The fear. I cannot afford to have a migraine. For days after the onset of a migraine, I am not well. It takes it out of me, literally. I move slowly and think slowly for several days after one of these monsters hit me. Then there's the fear that it's the start of something worse than a migraine or that it means something is wrong. When I experience the same symptoms I had right before my diagnosis or weird symptoms I've never had before, fear always wants to creep in and torment me with "what ifs" and worry. 

Then coincidentally, two days after this incident, my neurosurgeon’s office called. “It is time to schedule your six-month MRI,” the friendly scheduler explained. Instant fear set on me like a storm cloud. "Really!?" I thought. "I have a terrible episode and then they call? Does this mean something??"

Likely not. But fear creeps in in ways one cannot imagine. His name is the devil. I know this because fear is not from my God. Fear is not a part of the plan. 

  "For the Lord did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, love and of self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7. "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1. I repeat these words often. 

Fear is a dark shadow that envelopes us and ultimately captures us, with chains we put on ourselves. All of us have put these chains on at one time or another. Fear of failure, fear of sickness, fear of losing a job or losing someone close to you, or fear of _____ (you fill in the blank). Last night, when I was drowning in a pool of fear and crying myself to sleep because my head was throbbing at the exact point where I had surgery, the Lord comforted me.

Then this morning, in His usual way, the Lord blessed me with a verse during my quiet time. Psalm 105:4-5 “Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always. Remember the wonders He has done, His miracles, and the judgments He pronounced.” Psalm 105 was written by David. The first 15 verses of this Psalm are a celebration. The theme is about God’s mighty deeds in bringing Israel to the promised land. Remembering His miracles encourages us to focus on Him and keep living close to Him. In dramatic fashion, I was able to read the living Word and be encouraged.

My God is a God of miracles. He was then, and He is now. Whom shall I fear? Seriously! I am a miracle. I was told once that I only had 2-6 months to live and now I am here, raising my kids on the earth. I refuse to sit back and allow Satan to impose fear upon fear and lie upon lie on me. I refuse to wear the chains.

I have a choice. I could choose to focus on the "what ifs" of the future, wonder why I've been feeling so crappy lately and stress about the MRI results...or I could focus on the fact that God has been faithful--throughout all of history and certainly in MY life! I choose to remember what He has done, and to continue seeking His face. 

I have another choice. I could choose to creep into my shell and fight the fear alone, or post this and ask for your prayers.
Tomorrow (Wednesday), at 9:30 a.m., I am having an MRI. Would you please lift me up in prayer? That the procedure would go exceedingly well, and that the news would be news to celebrate? Will you pray with me that my current symptoms are related to weather change, stress or exhaustion and that the pain would go away and not be substantiated by tumor growth?

The Lord is my light and salvation. Whom shall I fear? I thank you for your prayers.

Why am I writing a book?

Do you remember back in high school when a really cool song would come out and you instantly fell in love with it? You couldn’t wait to hear it play on the radio. You loved the beat, the lyrics, the way it made you feel. You could listen to it over and over and over and just couldn’t get enough.

And then, as days passed, you became full of the song and your excitement for the lyrics faded as they were replaced with enjoyment for a new, different, better song. This is a cycle of music. A song hits #1 on your personal billboard and within a short time, it’s replaced by another song and begins to move down the charts to an imminent drop-off.

{By the way, here is the Billboard Top 100 Songs of 1996, the year I graduated from highschool}

Well, as I reflect on my story over the past few years (the fear, the sickness, the terminal diagnosis, the miracle, the personal growth, the love the Lord brought to me and the fierce desire to know Him and teach and tell others of what He has done in my life)… I think of you.

I think of some of you who do not know my story and others who know the basics: that I “had a brain tumor” and now I’m well. And then I think of all of you that don’t know the intimate, profound fear that ruled my world for years: that I would not live to raise my kids. Some of you don’t know how the Lord blessed me with a breathtaking experience that would change all of that forever. And I have lived to tell the story, so I am.

This is my book. This is how I’m making sure that what I went through isn’t another “billboard song” in my life, isn't just another passing phase, but is a forever life-changing experience. My story has “God” written all over it. It did then, and it does now. I am writing my story so it does not fade like a song on a top ten hits chart. I don't ever want to forget what God did for me.

What is the song in your life? Are you fighting to keep passion in your marriage? Are you struggling to maintain your health? Is it a battle to enjoy your children with the same passion you had when they were younger? Maybe God brought you through something dramatic, too, but the lessons you learned (that you SWORE you'd never forget) are starting to fade. May I encourage you? There are things in this life worth fighting for. In this ever-changing, always spinning, fast-paced world, stand strong for the things in life that should not fade like a one-hit wonder. Prioritize and FIGHT for the things that really matter.

My faith, my relationship with the Lord, my marriage and my kids are my top priorities in life. What are your top priorities? Are they what they should be? If not, it’s never too late. The God I serve is a God of second chances. I am living proof of that.

Close Call

If today was your last day

And tomorrow was too late

Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last?

Leave old pictures in the past

Donate every dime you have?

If today was your last day.

{Nickelback, "If Today Was Your Last Day"}

Earlier this week I was driving south on the 101 and I noticed something in the lane next to me. It looked like an over-sized hockey puck, round and black. First I saw it in the roadway and then I saw it as it was picked up by another car's tire and thrown at my car, just like a hockey puck is shot at the goal.

Alarming. Scary. Breath-taking (but not in a good way). Immediately I moved to the slow lane and exited the freeway on the next off-ramp to assess the damage. I also called my super-handy husband and he met me and swapped vehicles just in case the windshield didn’t hold.

"Holy cow! Talk about a close call!" I thought. And then my mind began to wander. Six inches lower, and it would have been at eye level.

I was so lucky. Or was I unlucky?

What are the odds of having an object thrown at your windshield so hard that it smashes it, throwing glass all over the car??

Whether you choose to view things in your life as lucky or unlucky is not really the point. The point is that at any moment, that over-sized hockey puck could be six inches lower and flying at you instead of me on the freeway. Not one person that died on the freeway last week was planning on it. Are you ready for eternity?

My Southern Baptist roots are seeping out in this post, but it has been heavy on my heart to share these thoughts. If today was your last day, do you know for sure where you would spend eternity? If you don’t, it’s not too late. To read the plan of salvation and my own personal testimony, visit my Faith page. And if you have any questions or would like to speak to me directly, please leave a comment with your e-mail address and I will contact you ASAP.

She Wants To Be Just Like Me

Tuesday, my four-going-on-fourteen-year-old daughter, is like most little girls—she wants to be just like me. She wants to get pedicures and spray tans like I do, she puts on her “workout clothes” and wants to run on the treadmill like I do...

...and she wants to dress like me.

Just this weekend, it hit me, though: she actually wants to BE LIKE ME. She is modeling everything I do. How I talk to people on the phone, my driving habits, my attitude toward church, what I spend my money on, my reactions to stressful situations, how I use my time…everything.

As parents, Rex and I do a lot of things right. We brush and floss the kids’ teeth every night, we enforce regular bedtimes, we pray before going to sleep at night, we go on regular family outings, we’re involved at church and we talk about Jesus and what He did on the cross for us nearly every night.

But when I thought about ME, day in and day out, and how I live in front of my kids, I started wondering….do I really want Tuesday to be like me? Am I being the kind of mother to her that I want her to be someday? What kind of role model am I? Am I striving to live my best life for God?

I’m certainly not perfect. There are so many weeds in my life that need a gallon of Round Up. It comes down to attitude and I’ve been struggling with mine as I have been running around like a crazy woman on Black Friday. I’ve been short with those around me, and haven’t taken time out to be still and enjoy Logan and Tuesday like I should. Stress doesn’t always bring out the best in me and my kids see that.

I snagged this line from the movie “Facing the Giants:” “Your attitude is like the aroma of your heart.” And sometimes mine stinks.

That line often resonates in my soul and I become convicted that my inward emotions drive my outward actions. I need to work on both. How am I feeling and how am I reacting to my feelings? How are life situations influencing my attitude? My kids need to know that I am a work in progress, just like they are. I’m going to be praying that God will teach me how to be the best me—and the best mom—that I can be.

Can I encourage you to take stock of what you are teaching your kids through your attitude? I’m sure there are lots of great things you’re teaching them, but next time your inner frustration seeps out and unleashes onto the person on the other end of the phone, remember who may be listening and what they’re learning about how to treat others.

As Tuesday grows up, I want to be proud of who she is becoming and to know that I had a positive influence on her.

What is your attitude teaching your kids, good or bad?

Have you ever....

Been on a fishing trip with 5 kids and 4 adults?? We were outnumbered. 

And it was great.

Time was slower, or so it seemed, as fishing was our only task at hand. Things were slow enough, in fact, to take note of some things ….

that our kids are only small for a time

and that one day they probably won’t desire us to be their camping companions anymore.

BUT for this weekend,

they were small,

and wanted to be with us more than anyone in life,

and couldn’t reach the pedals to drive themselves to the E.R. for stitches 5 minutes after arriving at the camp-site (it really happened!)

I’m trying to ruthlessly eliminate hurry from my life so I can enjoy my children
while they are where they are.

How can you be still and enjoy your kids this weekend?

Hit the Ground Running week #4: Loving Your Body

Welcome to the last installment of my Hit The Ground Running series!



The greatest wealth one can have in life is health. Trust me, I’ve been on the sick side of things long enough before to tell you—-the cars, the bank account and the closet full of fun clothes are worthless if you don’t have the good health to enjoy them.

Let's get “Back to Basics."

By “Back to Basics,” I mean the basics of getting good rest, eating well and regular exercise.

SLEEP



Whether you need seven, eight, or even nine hours of sleep a night may be up for debate, but the importance of getting adequate sleep should be a nonnegotiable. According to Web MD, sleep loss increases the risk of high blood pressure, inflammation, weight gain and diseases associated with these risk factors, such as diabetes and heart disease. Sleep loss also impairs performance and mood, according to the report.

The sleep requirements for each person depend on many factors, including age. For example, in general:
• Infants require about 16 hours a day.
• Teenagers need about nine hours on average.
• Most adults need seven to eight hours a night for the best amount of sleep, although some people may need as few as five hours or as many as 10 hours of sleep each day.
• Women in the first three months of pregnancy often need several more hours of sleep than usual.

Keep in mind that experts say that if you feel drowsy during the day, even during boring activities, you haven't had enough sleep.

There's also "sleep debt" to consider, which happens when the amount of sleep a person needs increases because he or she has been deprived of sleep in previous days. Getting too little sleep creates a "sleep debt," which is much like being overdrawn at a bank. Eventually, your body will demand that the debt be repaid. We don't seem to adapt to getting less sleep than we need, while we may get used to a sleep-depriving schedule, our judgment, reaction time, and other functions are still impaired (also from Web MD.

The bottom line is, our bodies needs adequate sleep to do everything we require of it day to day, especially if we are going to be great at what we are doing!

And now that we’re sleeping well, the next hurdle is...

EATING WELL



“We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.” -Alfred E Newman

I mean seriously...“High–tech tomatoes. Mysterious milk. Supersquash. Are we supposed to eat this stuff or is it going to eat us?” -Annita Manning

No doubt, “dieting” has been the most talked about, written about, heavily marketed subject in America for the last two decades! We just need to care about what we’re eating and take the time to do a good job of it! Let's end this "dieting" madness!

I believe there are many methods that will provide you with proper nutrition, not leave you yearning for a tasty meal and help you maintain a healthy weight.

I will, however, throw one method your way called the “Paleo” method. While I have toyed with it, I know professional athletes personally who live and die by this method and have found extraordinary success and health.

What is Paleo?
“Eating paleo refers to eating as our ancestors once did, prior to modern day agriculture. We are genetically designed to eat lean meats, vegetables, some fruit, a little bit of starch and good fats.



By removing processed foods from our diets, including grains – especially those that contain gluten – one can protect him or herself from a myriad of modern day illnesses from obesity to heart disease and diabetes to cancer. Why does eating Paleo work and not a standard American diet? The standard American diet stresses the importance of eating a high carbohydrate, low fat diet, this approach to eating only leads to diseases such as type II diabetes, obesity, depression, and the list goes on and on… Also, grains – especially whole grains which contain gluten such as wheat and barley are proven gut irritants. Eating Paleo has helped hundreds of thousands reverse disease, lose weight, and feel an overall sense of heath and wellness. Try eating Paleo for 30 days and see if YOU look, feel and perform better! For more science behind why you should be eating paleo visit Robb Wolf’s site, New York Times best selling author of "The Paleo Solution.” from everydaypaleo.com

I encourage you to do your own research and discover what method will work best for you, your goals and your lifestyle. We just have to care enough to plan ahead and eat well.

Once we are sleeping and eating well, let's...

COMMIT TO BE FIT



I think Nike said it best with, “Just Do It!” We simply have to decide to get out there and do it. Be active, run, play with our kids, lead an active lifestyle. We have to get past talking about it and thinking about it. We have to set goals, plan to achieve them and dedicate ourselves long-term to fitness. After all, isn’t being fit the one thing we should never out-grow???

I love this quote from Oprah, too: "There's no easy way out. If there were, I would have bought it. And believe me, it would be one of my Favorite Things!"

It IS work. And it probably isn’t going to be easy. But I promise you it will be worth it. For me personally, I've found two things that work for me: running and Crossfit.

Running is something I really enjoy. A few months into it, it didn’t hurt so bad to breathe, and it became an outlet. An outlet of “me time.” I’ve gained friendships through my running, and had some of the best chats while on the pavement. The pavement is always there. I’ve run at 4 am and I’ve run at 10pm. A good run is something no one can take away from you. It’s something you have to earn and it betters you as a person…physically and usually mentally and emotionally as well.


{Rex is always up for a race with me!}

Although I very much enjoy my running (enough that I have done five half marathons and one full marathon in the last seven months), there are many forms of exercise and many places to do it. Just about anywhere in the U.S. one can find a public pool, YMCA, high-school track or local gym. You may even have a local Crossfit location is your area!

Cross Fit boasts a NEW type of unconventional work out. Their slogan is “Forging Elite Fitness.” I go to my local gym, Cross Fit Fury, as often as I can. Our slogan is “Breathe Later,” which I love. Work hard now…breath later.


{ring handstand push-ups at the Crossfit Fury gym}

Our gym is owned by Peter Egyed, and ran by a ridiculously talented group of athletes. Our trainers prepare the work out of the day (WOD), post it on-line and coach everyone through the classes. A Crossfit class is the most challenging form of exercise I have ever done…ever. But, if you’re looking to shape up and gain strength, this is the place. They’re serious about working out and they care about what your daily food intake is. Crossfit is a fast growing method of exercise. If you’re not a Phoenix area resident, I highly encourage you to look one up in your area. If you are a local resident, I wouldn’t shop the competition. Peter and his crew are the best around. Infact, Crossfit Fury is going to the Crossfit games in one week to compete in the team competition!


{Peter Egyed doing a rope climb at the 2010 Crossfit Games}

Challenge:
The next time you get the urge to veg out in front of the TV during daylight hours, ask yourself…what could I be doing outdoors with my kids, my spouse, a friend or a co-worker?

GIVEAWAY! This week, the giveaway is for the book, "Everyday Paleo" from everydaypaleo.com.



To enter, just leave a comment answering the question, "What is your biggest obstacle to loving your body?" You may comment anonymously but please do leave your name.

Hit the Ground Running Week #3: Loving Your Kids

I hope you had a wonderful Fourth of July weekend!

Welcome to part 3 of my "Hit the Ground Running" series.



The winners from last week's giveaway are:
The Dr. Laura book: Sheryl
The Visa gift card: Rebekah W. (Hope you enjoy that date night with Ryan!)

This week's post on Loving Your Kids was written by my own mother, Kathy Redfeairn.

Loving our kids and raising them well is easy and natural, right? Not in a million years! We must make the decision to love our kids.

I loved raising our family but it took sacrificial, intentional, hard work. Undeniably, they were and are a blessing. Newborns are a peek into the awesomeness of God, the Creator! But along with each newborn came household adjustments to include the challenges of a new, unique personality, a schedule to accommodate and specific individual needs to be met. I remember that while being wheeled to the operating room for my 4th c-section, I thought, “I must be crazy! What in the world have I done? Four c-sections?? What was I thinking, having 4 kids?!” Thankfully, that moment of dread passed as we welcomed our 4th child (and 3rd girl) into our family.

I had to pray daily that God would help me love my children. It is not always natural to love our kids. We often think of what is easiest for us rather than what is best for them. Is letting them play the DS for 3 hours instead of playing a game with them really the better choice, or is it the easiest? Daily I would ask God to help me love my kids. I couldn’t do it on my own. I needed His help and His perspective to do what was best. I prayed daily, too, that my children would love each other. They were always close, but calling it ‘love’ might have been a stretch at times! But as adults, WOW, they genuinely love each other!

Now my kids are ages 34, 32, 30 and 27 and I have seven grandchildren (pictured below).



Based on all those years of mothering experience and 26 years of serving in children’s ministry, here are some of my thoughts on how to love your kids well.

Embrace the youthfulness of your children. Try not to have any preconceived ideas about their individual development. This is not to say that you should overlook the markers of whether or not a child is healthy. But don’t worry that they are not at the same maturity level as other children. Don’t worry that they can’t tie their shoes and your friend’s son can or that they still can’t figure out how to use scissors or wash their own hair. Accept that they are a work in progress, emotionally, spiritually and physically. They need your tender direction and guidance. Be patient with them as they grasp the world around them and all the truths and expectations that you have for them.

Relax and enjoy your kids. They are little for such a short time and each child is entirely different from their siblings. I still can laugh about the funny remarks the kids made or how they innocently made profound comments. We were sitting around the dinner table one evening when two-and-a-half-year-old Chrissy looked out our big windows and said, “Look at that boy dog.” I was shocked. I thought, “Holy Cow! How does she know the difference between a boy and a girl dog??” because it was, indeed, a big boy dog and we hadn’t yet taught her how to tell the difference. Hesitantly, I asked, “How do you know it is a boy?” Childlike and innocently she stated, “Because he’s black!” In her world, all dogs who were black were boys! Her dad and I laughed, relieved that sex ed was not yet a topic of discussion.

Lead by example. God calls us to disciple our children. God has loaned them to us with the expectation that we will raise them to love and serve Him by our own example. This requires a steadfast dedication on our part and remembering that they’re watching us at all times. Kids imitate us! I remember hearing my child say something and wondering, “Where on earth did they hear that?” It only took a moment for God to gently remind me that it was ME who had said it. Yikes!

Teach your children to be kind as you model kindness. Never allow them to speak unkind words without lovingly correcting them. Help them to know and do what is right. Be uncompromising on issues of lying, cheating, stealing and speaking disrespectfully to adults. Teach them that it is never okay to do these things, even if others are. It will save them so much heartache later in life if they can learn to be self-disciplined in these areas when they are young.

If this seems like a tall order to fill, remember that we do not have to be perfect parents. Our kids know we are not perfect. God knows we are not perfect. Perfection is not the goal. The goal is to model a life surrendered to God in love and service for our children to see.

Expect the best from your kids. They have a tendency to live up to your expectations, so expect them to behave appropriately and always do their best.

Raise your children in a Godly church. The challenges of motherhood are overwhelming at times. Who could accomplish this task alone? Not me, not any of us! Thankfully we have God, the Holy Spirit and the Bible to provide direction along with our family and fellow believers. Find a Bible Study small group or fellowship group to offer guidance and support.

We began attending church with the birth of our first child. It was the best decision we have ever made. Godly women fielded my various questions and concerns. Many fond memories were made along the way as our children bonded and became life-long friends.

Carefully guide their spiritual lives as though their eternity depends on it….because it does! At some future time, your child will make an eternal decision and it can be one that has been cultivated by your direct influence. You will have helped lay the foundation for that important decision.

Being a mom is an awesome blessing. Being a grandma is, too! I love being a grandma and thoroughly enjoy our seven grandkids, each uniquely different from one another. I can never seem to get enough of them. I thank God for the gift of children and grandchildren and God willing, I can experience the gift of great-grandchildren someday, too!

THIS WEEK'S GIVEAWAY is for the book "The Five Love Languages For Kids."
TO ENTER, leave a comment answering the question: "What is your favorite way to spend quality time with your kids during the summer?" Don't forget, if you comment anonymously, leave your name and/or e-mail address so we can contact you if you win.

Instituting Date Night

Don't miss part one of this post about Loving Your Spouse. There's another GIVEAWAY there, too.

DATE NIGHT by Chrissy Calderwood



In the Calderwood home,
Once weekly,
We leave the kids at home
And go to one of our favorite spots
For conversation not interrupted
By demands administered to sit still
And eat food.

We have a committed sitter
To care for the kids.
We take turns picking the activity for our night out
And sometimes we invite other couples.
But always, no matter what,
We celebrate the blessings of our life.

We still laugh at the past
And discuss the day's work
And strategize our plans for the future.

Date night is simply amazing.
Our time to catch up,
Renew our minds and enjoyment for one another
And laugh at how the house may be in shambles and kids’ dinner only half eaten when we return.


{me and my man}

In honor of date night, I want to challenge YOU, whether you have small children or are past that stage in life and whether or not it entails lining up a sitter...to plan a date night. Every Week. It’s a breath of fresh air our marriage needs to continue flourishing. I love my man. I cherish our time together. Every Thursday is our night.

GIVEAWAY! Respond to this post with a date you recently went on, or a planned date for sometime in the next week. There will be a random drawing for a $50 Visa gift card towards your next date night.

For more date night ideas, here are some sites you may want to check out.

20 Pocket Change Date Night Ideas from "Small Notebook". Check the comments, too, for readers' ideas.

44 Date Night Ideas at "Time in New York".

For Phoenix locals...
Phoenix Date Ideas has a great list of fun, romantic, adventurous, cheap and weekend/day trip ideas.

Hit The Ground Running week #2: Loving Your Spouse

Happy Monday!

First, the winners from last week's giveaway are:
The "Know Your Bible" book: Amanda M.
The Starbucks Gift Card: Natalie

Congrats, girls!

I hope if you're reading this that you're already participating in my Summer Challenge, spending 15 minutes a day reading your Bible and praying. If not, you can still join in. Check out the Summer Challenge post HERE.

And now on to week #2 of my Hit The Ground Running Series!

LOVING YOUR SPOUSE {written by my friend Dennis Johnston}

One of the biggest joys of our lives is found in the relationship with our spouse. The ability to nurture this relationship will determine our ability to add value to other people.

If you asked me and my wife Nichole how our first year of marriage was, you would get two different answers. I was convinced it was nothing less than marital bliss. It was great! She seemed attentive to my needs and as a I result I felt affirmed. She was convinced it was anything but marital bliss. It was difficult! I seemed oblivious to her needs and as a result she felt frustrated.

This lead to heated discussions that included honest dialogue such as:

“When you _______ I feel ________.”

One area we have always revisited was our marriage vows. Our commitment seemed almost effortless at the time. Yet, we have had to be intentional daily in honoring our commitment to each other.

I have found I’m always drawn back to a specific passage in the Bible to help me. “For I have no one like him who will be genuinely concerned for your welfare. They all seek their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.” Philippians 2:20-21 ESV

The whole idea of being “genuinely concerned” for her welfare has been a huge blessing in our marriage. The other side of this is not seeking my “own interest” but seeking hers instead.

Here are a few ways we continue to be “genuinely concerned” for the welfare of each other:

• We pray together. Not the “help my wife desire to serve me breakfast in bed prayers.” After we have conversations about challenges (etc.), we simply ask each other “how can I pray for you?”

• We memorize Scripture together. Chuck Swindoll wrote, “I know of no other single practice in the Christian life more rewarding, practically speaking, than memorizing Scripture….No other single exercise pays greater spiritual dividends! Your prayer life will be strengthened….Your attitudes and outlook will begin to change. Your mind will become alert and observant” (Growing Strong in the Seasons of Life [Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1994], p. 61).

• We affirm each other publicly. Nichole has the ability to make me look better than I really am – she always speaks highly of me in front of others when I’m not present. Similarly, I get a tremendous amount of joy by doing the same.

• We encourage each other daily. We encourage through words, hugs, cards, notes, email, texts, and even non-verbally when we simply hold hands without expressing words.
Here are a few examples of some text messages within the past week:
o How’s your day? I prayed you get refocused this afternoon. You do a terrific job! Thank you for who you are!
o Thank you for being excited for our date tonight! I enjoyed spending time with you and learning how you are helping other people. There are few people like you – I Love You!
o You seem VERY tired. Please rest! I love you and look forward to walking with you tonight!
o Hi dear – you looked amazing this morning. Very beautiful!

We still include honest dialogue such as:

“When you _______ I feel _______.”

When Nichole affirms me I feel incredibly important to her. She has truly been one of the biggest sources of joy in my life.

I encourage you to share a few ways you continue to be “genuinely concerned” for the welfare of each other. Excited to hear from you!

{Thanks, Dennis!}

And now...THIS WEEK'S GIVEAWAY!

I'm giving away one of my FAVORITE books, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger.

TO ENTER: leave a comment with how you continue to be “genuinely concerned” for the welfare of your spouse. If you comment anonymously, remember to leave your name.

I hope your week is off to a GREAT start!

DON'T MISS my post about Instituting Date Night. There's a new GIVEAWAY, too!

Tender Moments

A Tender Moment is…

a moment that stops you in your tracks,
a moment that can bring you to your knees,
make you cry,
inflict pain,
bring joy
and ultimately grow you.
-Chrissy Calderwood

My Tender Moment started last night. Rex and I went on a dinner date to one of our favorite restaurants, Outback, with one of our favorite couples, who happen to be hard-core athletes. It was delightful. We laughed through dinner and stopped at Starbucks on the trip home. Throughout the evening I was inspired a bit to step up my running regimen. I’ve fallen slightly off schedule as the temperatures have risen in Phoenix. Typically, the higher the temperatures rise, the less miles I log but this time I decided...I’m going to run through the heat.

And that was the beginning of my Tender Moment.

Today’s high is 115! I did not know this when I made the mental commitment to run today.

            Phoenix 5-Day Forecast:  
      
            Today     Thurs.     Fri.       Sat.      Sun.
High    115         113        110      110      111   
Low     79           80          78        77        80

I discussed my plan with Rex and he encouraged me to go out for the run. I put on my cute little LuLu Lemon clothes, grabbed a water bottle and hit the pavement. “Not so bad,” I thought. “And I really like this song playing.” Plus my watch displayed a not-so-common quick pace. As I made it through the first mile, I began to thirst….for a cold shower and my a/c. It was a quick mile, but my cool arms and legs from being in the house had warmed up to fire engine red and were drenched with sweat. And so I stopped in my tracks to take a drink of water.

No, I did not fall to my knees, but it crossed my mind. That could be a great tactic to gain a ride home from a passing neighbor.

No, I wasn’t crying, it just looked like I was with the sweat beading up on my cheeks.

Yes, I was in pain. This was not one of my more comfortable runs.

The amount of joy I felt when I turned the last corner to my house was immeasurable as I inched back toward the a/c I love so much.

Yes, this run definitely grew me. Sometimes when you want something enough, you’re going to have Tender Moments while getting where you’re going. Life’s not easy, and neither was my run. But I’m better for it. I made it through it, and I’m a little bit stronger for it (and no, I am not endorsing running in ridiculous “heat advisory” temperatures).

Whatever your Tender Moment is, I urge you to embrace it. Go where it takes you. Grow from it. You’ll be a stronger person for gutting it out!

Hit the Ground Running week #1: Loving God

First, let's announce the WINNERS of last week's giveaway:

THE BOOK: EJ
THE SHIRT: Lynn

Congratulations, ladies!

I hope if you're reading this that you're already participating in my Summer Challenge, spending 15 minutes a day reading your Bible and praying. If not, you can still join in. Check out the Summer Challenge post HERE.

And now...WELCOME to my 4-week "Hit the Ground Running" Monday series.

I hope these Monday morning posts will help you get your week off on the right foot. For four weeks, we'll focus on these key areas:
1. our relationship with God
2. our relationship with our spouse
3. loving our kids
4. taking care of our bodies

WEEK ONE: Our Relationship with God

Most of us know {or have at least heard of} the three keys to a successful Christian life: 1) Love God 2) Love others and 3) Go and make disciples. Easy, right? I have found that in the “New Normal” world we live in, the demands on our time push us further from, not closer to, the One who loves us most. In an effort to move in the right direction, I’m actually going to let a guest "post" on my blog. It’s relevant to my life and I trust that this post by my friend Dennis Johnston will be encouraging for you.

Matthew 6:31-34 English Standard Version "Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

So many times we get caught up in worry. It seems that the daily needs of life, work, family and health all combine to make us anxious about tomorrow. Throw in a little crisis – finances, job problems, car repairs, and illness – and the stress level rises until we can’t sleep, we can’t think straight and ultimately, we aren’t able to function. That’s what happens when we are overwhelmed with our own needs.

Amazingly, Jesus speaks to this very issue in this passage from the Gospel of Matthew. What He tells us is that God knows what we need, even before we ask, and this loving Heavenly Father of ours will make sure we have what we need. So, what’s our problem then? If God is caring for us in the practical needs of our lives, why are we so consumed with the issues of daily life?

Good question – and the answer is somewhat simple: our priorities are all out of whack. We seek to have 'stuff' so that our basic needs will be met, when our real focus should be to seek the Provider. When we focus on acquiring material things and stress over our daily needs, we are trying to be our own provider – we aren’t truly trusting God. We are relying on ourselves and what we can do – through our own efforts, schemes and plans, we aren’t relying on God. Yes, we have to work and use what finances and opportunities God gives us wisely, but seeking God who is our Provider keeps things in the right perspective, acknowledging Him as the source of all that we need (Deuteronomy 8:17-18 ESV).

Placing Him first in all things demonstrates our love for Him and allows us to receive all that our loving Father desires to provide for us. In seeking first Him and His Kingdom, we build our lives on trusting Him – which can reduce the anxiety and stress of our everyday life.

YOUR CHALLENGE THIS WEEK:

Ask yourself this question – "What do I rely on in my life more than God?"

Pray this prayer – My Father in heaven, I know You are the One who provides all that I need in life. Help me to trust You to care for me and my family – give me the peaces and assurance of Your Holy Spirit. Show me how to place You and Your kingdom first in my life, aligning my priorities with Your heart. May it be so, I ask in the name of Jesus Christ.

(This is a guest post by Dennis Johnston. He has a heart to identify, equip, and release healthy leaders).

This week's #1 GIVEAWAY is a $25 Starbucks gift card that I hope you'll use to get away from the rush of life, enjoy a beverage and reflect on how you can make (or keep) God first in your life. Maybe you can even take a friend along, too.

The #2 GIVEAWAY is the book Know Your Bible by Paul Kent, guaranteed to help you ready, study and understand the Bible.

To ENTER, simply
* continue (or start) your 15-minute quiet time with the Lord every day.

* COMMENT on this post answering the question, "What types of things worry you the most in your life right now?" I hope to address some of them in future posts. You can sign in or comment anonymously--just leave your name, please.

The winners will be chosen by the random number generator (one entry per person) at 11pm Arizona time on Sunday, June 26th. Take care to leave an e-mail address so we can contact you if you win!

Feel free to e-mail me with questions at rccalderwood@aol.com

Are we winning yet?

I guess that depends on what we call winning….but, yes. Yes, indeed we are!

Logan finished his first season of go-kart racing last Saturday night with great improvement from the beginning to end of season. He even racked up eight trophies throughout the season!

We had hours and hours of family time at the track and we got to spend some time with friends we hadn’t seen in awhile.

{us with Dawn & David, my in-laws}

So if winning means your son growing in skill, attitude, strength and stamina....

and your daughter insisting on wearing a bikini all day at the track...

... then we hit all the marks.

Here’s to Logan’s first season of Kart racing!!

Summer Challenge & Giveaway

In years past, summer came and went and left me thinking, "Gee, I wish I'd have done something meaningful this summer." Seems like having the kids home, the slower pace and more daylight hours should be the perfect opportunity to make some positive changes in our lives, right?

It's hard work, though, mostly because it requires us to change our way of thinking. This week, I realized why that is when I had an "a-ha moment" that all started with a T-shirt.

A while back, someone gave me a Wild Olive Tee with Romans 12:2 on the back.






{want to know how you can WIN a shirt like this?? Keep reading!}

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- His good, pleasing and perfect will.” (New International Version)

The shirt fits me well and has a nice, feel-good ‘slogan verse’ on the back, so...I wear it.

Recently, my journey through the Bible in a year brought me to the book of Romans. I’ve read this verse plenty of times but this time it had a profound effect on my spiritual life.

Christians are uniquely called to live a life of service, dedicated to looking out for the needs of the people around them and loving others above themselves—and that’s definitely not how the world does things! I felt adequate in my endeavors of living a life of loving the Lord and others. I had the “do not conform to the patterns on this world” part of the verse down. Yea, me!

But I had to really park there for a while before it hit home that this verse calls us to more than just not conforming to the world-- we are also called to renew our minds so that we can be truly transformed.



That’s when the light bulb went on. True transformation only happens when we renew our minds consistently. That means that we need to spend quality time with the Lord, every day. Our minds need daily exercise, just like our muscles.

I've given up on the idea of life ever slowing down. I have to work at keeping my priorities in order. Just like running, I have to make a daily decision to spend time with the Lord or it doesn’t happen. I can’t wait until it’s convenient because, when it is ever convenient?? If I waited until it was convenient or until I felt like it, it would rarely happen. I have to be ruthlessly intentional with both. And believe me—in my life, I need to do it every day. I have to do it first thing in the morning, too, before my day gets totally out of hand.



I love my shirt and the verse on the back does make for a nice slogan. But I don’t want to be just a ‘slogan Christian.’

I could read the backs of clever T-shirts all day long, but it won’t have an impact on my life until I actually open my Bible and spend time studying the verse, figuring out what it means and applying it to my life.

The method behind my madness, by the way, is incredibly simple and if you don’t have your own method already, I hope you’ll consider adopting this one. It’s SOAP: Scripture, Observation, Application and Prayer.



All you need is a Bible, something to write on (be it a journal or a Word document) and your brain.

Here is SOAP, explained on my church's web site and a more in-depth explanation at GregQualls.com.

And you can do it in 15 minutes a day! I like to break my time into 5-minute chunks: 5 minutes to read, 5 minutes to journal about what I read and how I can apply it to my life and 5 minutes to pray. Simple.

My daily time with God makes all the difference in my life and I know it can do the same for you.

In fact, I thought it would be fun to challenge ourselves to doing a quiet time for 15 minutes a day for the next four weeks and see what we get.

I’m so excited for my blog readers to start this that I’m offering TWO GIVEAWAYS just for agreeing to participate in this 4-week challenge!

The #1 giveaway this week is for Andy Stanley’s book, “How Good Is Good Enough?”, which I will mail to your door right away. I'll even include a cute bookmark!



The #2 giveaway this week is for a gift certificate to Wild Olive Tee so you can choose the shirt you want {like the one pictured at the beginning of this post}. Their shirts are beautiful and perfect for summer!

PARTICIPATING is simple:

* COMMIT to a 15-minute quiet time with the Lord every day (ish) for the next four weeks.

* COMMENT on this post answering the question, "What is your biggest hindrance to having a daily quiet time with the Lord?" By the way, I hope to address some of them in future posts. You can sign in or comment anonymously--just leave your name, please.

You are also encouraged to SIGN UP to follow my blog so you don't miss any posts. You can follow by e-mail or subscribe. Look in the right-hand sidebar.

Think your Facebook friends would like to participate, too?? Look for the Facebook icon at the bottom of this post, under my name, to post to your Facebook page.

The winners will be chosen by the random number generator (one entry per person) at 11pm Arizona time on Sunday, June 19th. Take care to leave an e-mail address so we can contact you if you win!

STAY TUNED for my "Hit the Ground Running" series, starting next Monday, June 20th.

Feel free to e-mail me with questions at rccalderwood@aol.com

It's going to be a great summer!